sorrow is pleasure when you want it instead

What an intense week! Yay for intensisnosisosityyyy!!!

Sunday I found out about a job opening at the Rite Aid where Tanya works and it looks like I could be working there this summer! I’m pretty excited!!

I’ve been hanging out with Josh quite a lot (ish) this week. Well more than normal. He’s pretty cool, but his love for me remains unrequited unfortunately. Makes me feel bad, but I keep reminding myself that he went into this knowing that we were going AS…FRIENDS.
He tried to call me on my cell phone (bad plan) Sunday, but by the time I saw that he had called me it was like nine at night, so I didn’t do anything about it. Monday morning I had the (mis)fortune to run into his mom the librarian and she’s all “Josh tried calling you five times last night!!”
“Oh man, really?” (five times my ass.) “He should have tried my house, I have no cell reception where I live.”
“I don’t think he has your house number, you should give it to him!!” (I swear, she is THE LOUDEST librarian I have ever met)
“Ok I’ll tell him.”
Five seconds after that I realized that I had in fact already given Josh both of my phone numbers… wow.

I told him about that conversation the next day and he goes “My mom needs to shut up.” It made me laugh.

So Tuesday I ended up going to one of Josh’s baseball games and dragging Jen along with me, so I wouldn’t have to sit awkwardly alone (sound familiar?) He went up to bat once and got out like right after, but gahdnah won 10 zip, so it was good. I texted Todd to fill in the time, but when I did, he goes “Who’s this?” Needless to say, I was greatly saddened/pissed. After I told him who I was he said to call him, aaaaand… I still haven’t. I need to. I think I will tomorrow night or something. Josh didn’t come out and say hi after, so Jen and I left after waiting for about 20 min. We went to Dunkin’ Donuts and of course who should be working there but Mike Maxwell (faintttt). And so then we went back to Jen’s house and sat in her driveway for like a half hour talking. By that time I had to go get Erica and Celeste from Drama. Got home and Josh had called (my house finally) and we talked for a while. He kept hinting around that he liked me and said something about how he knew I didn’t like him, and that was kinda awkward, but I played it cool. So that was the long and short of THAT day.

Wednesday I found out I got the (INSANELY HIGH) solo part for the band/chorus concert. Andrea spent most of chorus in the bathroom crying, but not until later did I find out that it was because John Sawyer was singing for Baccalaureate and not coz of the solo. Good to know, good to know.

Thursday I went out to eat with Josh at Dennis’ (where else?) It went well. I was worried it would be super awkward, but it wasn’t at all. He told me about how he’s ordering me a corsage from somewhere exotic and I’m kind of excited about that. He really is a nice boy. I really feel bad that I don’t like him like, but I just… don’t. Then we came back and I chatted it up with Alex and her prom date Colin (whom I set her up with!! So proud of me!) They are such a cute couple. And what’s cool is they both like each other too. It’s soo cool. And Colin’s really a nice guy. They were meant for each other.

Friday was completely uneventful.

Aaaand today, I went over to hang out with Sarah. We made pumpkin cookies and watched Children of Men (AMAZINGGGG MOVIEEEE!!!) So it was good. Things are still a little funky, but getting better, most def.

Kind of hoping todd will come back from being away so I can finally say hi. I had this weird epiphany the other day about him. I was on his myspace and he’s got all these scene girls on there like “Oooh you have such a beautiful voice!! I know all the lyrics to your songs!! I want to have your childrennnn!!” Shit like that. And I realized that I probably mean as much to him as they do. Which saddens me greatly. I am just another scene girl to him… even though I’m not scene. Maybe it’s not true, but that’s what it feels like. Maybe it’s pointless to pursue him now. Ehhh… I really don’t care much. He was fun to talk to, but if that’s not going to work out… c’est la vie.

Well I feel like this entry is needlessly long, so I’m going to find some other internet related thing to do now.

Stay cool, rock on.

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