So apparently I can't keep up my blog to save my life... Well that's ok, I don' t think anyone reads this besides me. No big, fo shizzle.
Meh. I've been shopping today to take my mind off of other things. Things that I only ended up thinking about later. It was a good day shopping wise. Went to Salvation Army, coz apparently it's closing (My mom told me that and I thought she meant all Salvation armies everywhere... but apparently it's just the one near us.) I got a big button down shirt, two narrow ties, two Oscar de la Renta bras (that are too big, but I'm hoping I can make them smaller... Yay for not really needing bras!) and a Queen t-shirt (as in the band. I'm hoping to resize it into something cool.) I also found three cds... one is some sort of mix cd, a Ryan Cabrera CD (I figure what the hell? It was like 50 cents) and a Sixpence None the Richer single (Kiss Me of course). Thennn... we went to TJ Maxx and they were selling tons of American Eagle swag, which didn't exactly thrill me except for the fact I was paying probably less for it than people who actually work at AE. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. I got two AE sweaters (A snowflake looking pullover and a grey cardigan) and a sick non-AE trenchcoat. This one looks like it might actually repel water unlike my other one. Oh and some body scrub. Keeping the dry skin at bay as usual.
Hahah I really don't know why I just listed all that stuff. Probably to avoid talking about what I'm about to talk about. ABOUTABOUTABOUTABOUT.
Ahem.
Welllllll.... I've basically fallen for Josh, aaannnddd... he's leaving tomorrow.... to go back to his fiancee/girlfriend/Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm deal, and.... our goodbye was a load of shit and.... I miss him a lot....and.... I don't think he likes me.....and..... I wanna throw up.
I think I've more or less missed my chance with him. I hate it when I like really flirty guys, it makes it so hard to tell when they are being serious and when they're just.... being really flirty.
AND ON TOP OF IT ALL, ONCE AGAIN, i HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE YOUNGER THAN ME!! WHAT THE HELL!!
*sigh*
I sort of felt like I should have told him, but.... I chickened out again. I prayed about it and decided that if he hasn't dumped her by the end of the year that it's not meant to be. I think telling him now would just make things really awkward or hard or .... unnecessary. But I wondered if I told him how I felt if maybe he'd dump his girlfriend for me... or at least think about it. When I told him I was going to break up with Chris he got really excited and stuff, like... lucky him or something. I should have picked up on it at the time, but of course I'm a blithering idiot.
Which brings me to something else. I ended up dating Chris for a monthish. That was... interesting/complex/difficult. Like at first it seemed like everything would work out and I wasn't going to put an expiration date on anything. Then... my friends met him. And then... I re-evaluated my decisions. And then.... Josh happened. So... there you have it. And I'm pretty much fine with how that turned out. So far anyway.
UGH I'm so nauseous right now. I may or may not have eaten some bad cream cheese this afternoon. It might also be my nerves/angst eating away at my stomach. Who knows?
I'm hopefully going to call Sarah tomorrow and see how things went on the malcom-cote family outing. They were supposed to go to the beach today but it decided to pour, so who knows what happened?
Whatever.
I love josh. Dammit.