Sunday, June 01, 2008

so obviously desperate, so desperately obvious

ugh.

I am really on the edge of something bad today.

I WISH I had a job. I hate just being around here with nothing to do. I feel pretty much worthless and... it's just really bad.

Well I broke up with Michael. That went a lot better than expected. But of course I waited too long to write about it so I really don't feel like going into detail now.

My stomach just feels really really sick. It's rather horrible.

I started to feel better though, I've been cleaning and stuff, did my devotions, got back on my mental feet a little bit.

THEN I went online and..... whoopdee freakin' doo, there's a new pic of Ryan and the gf.

Why is it that I can't get over that kid? I mean seriously, this is friggin retarded. I guess I just need to ask God to take that away from me and give me peace. I am so angst-filled right now!

Sitting still is def. NOT helping.

I've been talking to Chris A LOT since I got out of school. I guess he wants to start a band with me, which sounds like it'll be fun. I am after all a band whore. A band whore with a highly contaigous case of Yoko Ono syndrome. Hopefully this one actually gets farther than past attempts.

I either need one of two things. One (and most preferrable) lots and LOTS of boy exposure, or two, complete detachment from guys. Lol look! I'm falling into the either/or fallacy trap! AAAAKKKKKKK!!!!

I hate people. A lot. My stomach is full of rabid butterflies. With razor blade wings.

Back to productive things.