Hello
This post is mostly the result of boredom. But that’s cool I guess.
Good day today.
Really good actually.
If I had to pick between the words “sexy” and “comfy” to describe my day, I would have to pick comfy.
Greenlaw moved the tables back into the little clusters they were in before. Which equals more Amanda-Ross eye contact. Which makes me all YAAAY inside. But we are still uncertain as to whether or not Ross is sexually neutral or not. I hope not. I’d sooo much rather go out with Ross than Matt. Just coz I know Ross is a good kid. And I like him muchly. And he’s never treated me like crap. And he’s funny. And he thinks I’m funny too… I think.
If Matt weren’t so freakin’ HOT and good on the guitar and has a hot friend. Then, things would be so much easier.
We may possibly be hanging out this weekend. But I’m really not getting my hopes up. Really not. You don’t. even. know.
Remember how I was talking to that Ryan kid? Ya, well, I told him how Sarah rambles on and on sometimes about things I don’t really care about? She does the same thing to him and it makes him want to slit his wrists TOO!! Oh man! I really thought I was alone.
But back to the Matt thing. You know, I’m beginning to notice (and whether or not I’m way off base is not the issue here) that guys really think I’m hot. Or cute. Or something and they just don’t say anything, so I end up thinking I’m ugly or something. And because I think I’m ugly, I’m ok with going back to hanging out with Matt, who treated me like crap. Sooo, I think that since I’m starting to realize that the world is basically my oyster, I’m less concerned with whether or not Matt likes me.
Ohh geez I am really not used to sounding THAT CONCEITED. Please, please forgive me, but I doubt anyways that many people read this, so I’m not deleting what I just said. It’s a huge boost to my fragile ego.
& <33
Mandy-pandy
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love I'm just falling to pieces
HAPPY THANKSGIVINGGG!!!
Oh man, finally thanksgiving break! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
I am actually really frustrated right now. And I really hate to admit the reason for this frustration. I don’t want to even say it. On top of all that, it’s really stupid and pathetic and not even worth using bandwidth (or… whatever) for.
Matt wasn’t at school for the two days of school that we’ve had this week.
And…
I really missed him.
This is bad.
Very…. Very bad.
I kept thinking he was suspended or expelled or something, but he probably just skipped. I mean, who wouldn’t, given the chance? But even that bothers me coz I keep thinking he’s skipping because he doesn’t want to see me for some reason.
See? It’s ridiculously silly. The only reason I’m writing this down is to try and get it out of my system. I wish I could believe that nothing’s going to happen because it’s not. IT’S NOOTTT!! Not that I don’t want it to (and incidentally not that I do,) it’s just that I don’t really think he likes me enough to make anything happen. Ooooohhh it’s sooo annoying!!!
I’m friends with one of Sarah’s college friends on Myspace. Apparently he likes her, but she’s not really into him. His name is Ryan. I think I freak him out a little, but it’s cool I guess. I think I mostly asked him to be my friend as a joke, and hopefully he realizes that, but I don’t really want to straight up tell him that. I may have to though later on. hahahahahahahahahaha……hahahahahah…..hahaha.
I’m thinking about getting this haircut sans fake snow:
There’s this place in Hallowell called The Lux that I’m going to try hopefully this weekend sometime. Maybe even tomorrow. I hope it’s not a mistake…
Well, I’m smelling gorgeous food and I want to partake.
&<33 Amanda
Oh man, finally thanksgiving break! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
I am actually really frustrated right now. And I really hate to admit the reason for this frustration. I don’t want to even say it. On top of all that, it’s really stupid and pathetic and not even worth using bandwidth (or… whatever) for.
Matt wasn’t at school for the two days of school that we’ve had this week.
And…
I really missed him.
This is bad.
Very…. Very bad.
I kept thinking he was suspended or expelled or something, but he probably just skipped. I mean, who wouldn’t, given the chance? But even that bothers me coz I keep thinking he’s skipping because he doesn’t want to see me for some reason.
See? It’s ridiculously silly. The only reason I’m writing this down is to try and get it out of my system. I wish I could believe that nothing’s going to happen because it’s not. IT’S NOOTTT!! Not that I don’t want it to (and incidentally not that I do,) it’s just that I don’t really think he likes me enough to make anything happen. Ooooohhh it’s sooo annoying!!!
I’m friends with one of Sarah’s college friends on Myspace. Apparently he likes her, but she’s not really into him. His name is Ryan. I think I freak him out a little, but it’s cool I guess. I think I mostly asked him to be my friend as a joke, and hopefully he realizes that, but I don’t really want to straight up tell him that. I may have to though later on. hahahahahahahahahaha……hahahahahah…..hahaha.
I’m thinking about getting this haircut sans fake snow:
There’s this place in Hallowell called The Lux that I’m going to try hopefully this weekend sometime. Maybe even tomorrow. I hope it’s not a mistake…
Well, I’m smelling gorgeous food and I want to partake.
&<33 Amanda
Saturday, November 18, 2006
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman
Hey!
Well, more interesting news.
I did tryouts for the musical that’s going on. Knowing full well that I’d get a dinky part.
And I did.
I’m villager #1.
First on the list of villagers (as if that means something.)
But guess who else tried out? Matt that’s who. He’s in it too. Which means I’ll prolly have to be seeing him like every day. Hmm… Good? Bad? I don’t know. Of course fricken Molly Crate also got a (probably non villager) part. Sheesh. Basically can’t stand her much at all.
Oh and btw, I didn’t get a stupid part cuz I suck or anything, it’s cuz I can’t do things on Friday nights/ Saturdays. Religion issues. Otherwise I’d pwn.
So there’s that… and the interesting incident the other day.
So I’m helping out with French club duties (I SWEAR I am Mother Theresa reincarnated) and Ms. LaPlante asked us to go down and get a box of food out of one of the classrooms. And of course, it weighs a bloody ton. So I ended up having to be like almost parallel to the ground trying to push the box down the hall (I was parallel cuz it was a really short box.) So we get it on to the elevator and I push it maybe six feet down the hall and for some reason I just can’t get it to move any more.
Just at that moment, who should stick their head into the hall but Matt. He’s like “Hey how’s it goin?” so I’m like “Good.” Kinda embarrassed cuz of trying to get the box down the hall n stuff so I said “Hey, can you help me move this box?” And of course he bounds right over and tries to pick it up but of course can’t so who ELSE should pop their head into the hall but Mike so they end up both carrying it for me and I’m just like so proud of myself for being so resourceful. And damsel-in-distress-y. So he and Mike put the box in Ms. LaPlante’s room and the following conversation ensues:
Me: Did you see you made the play?
Matt: Yeah, I saw. I don’t know who that guy is do you?
Me: No, no clue. (chyeah right. I could basically recite that whole play.)
Matt: You’re in it right?
Me: Yeah, I’m in it. Are you gonna do it?
Matt: Yeah! Of course! (who’d of thought he would be so into drama?)
Me: Sweet! Well, see ya.
Etc. etc. etc.
Hmmm…
Actually, I don’t know what to make of all this. It kind of makes me happy, but then part of me is like “Don’t get your hopes up, who knows when he’ll pull something like last time?” And I know that that could easily happen. I keep telling myself that if I just make nice then I can actually get to do the band thing. I dunno.
I soooooooooOOOOOooOOOO don’t want to like him again.
But I can feel myself slipping every time I see him.
&<33
Amanda
Well, more interesting news.
I did tryouts for the musical that’s going on. Knowing full well that I’d get a dinky part.
And I did.
I’m villager #1.
First on the list of villagers (as if that means something.)
But guess who else tried out? Matt that’s who. He’s in it too. Which means I’ll prolly have to be seeing him like every day. Hmm… Good? Bad? I don’t know. Of course fricken Molly Crate also got a (probably non villager) part. Sheesh. Basically can’t stand her much at all.
Oh and btw, I didn’t get a stupid part cuz I suck or anything, it’s cuz I can’t do things on Friday nights/ Saturdays. Religion issues. Otherwise I’d pwn.
So there’s that… and the interesting incident the other day.
So I’m helping out with French club duties (I SWEAR I am Mother Theresa reincarnated) and Ms. LaPlante asked us to go down and get a box of food out of one of the classrooms. And of course, it weighs a bloody ton. So I ended up having to be like almost parallel to the ground trying to push the box down the hall (I was parallel cuz it was a really short box.) So we get it on to the elevator and I push it maybe six feet down the hall and for some reason I just can’t get it to move any more.
Just at that moment, who should stick their head into the hall but Matt. He’s like “Hey how’s it goin?” so I’m like “Good.” Kinda embarrassed cuz of trying to get the box down the hall n stuff so I said “Hey, can you help me move this box?” And of course he bounds right over and tries to pick it up but of course can’t so who ELSE should pop their head into the hall but Mike so they end up both carrying it for me and I’m just like so proud of myself for being so resourceful. And damsel-in-distress-y. So he and Mike put the box in Ms. LaPlante’s room and the following conversation ensues:
Me: Did you see you made the play?
Matt: Yeah, I saw. I don’t know who that guy is do you?
Me: No, no clue. (chyeah right. I could basically recite that whole play.)
Matt: You’re in it right?
Me: Yeah, I’m in it. Are you gonna do it?
Matt: Yeah! Of course! (who’d of thought he would be so into drama?)
Me: Sweet! Well, see ya.
Etc. etc. etc.
Hmmm…
Actually, I don’t know what to make of all this. It kind of makes me happy, but then part of me is like “Don’t get your hopes up, who knows when he’ll pull something like last time?” And I know that that could easily happen. I keep telling myself that if I just make nice then I can actually get to do the band thing. I dunno.
I soooooooooOOOOOooOOOO don’t want to like him again.
But I can feel myself slipping every time I see him.
&<33
Amanda
Friday, November 10, 2006
I ain't takin' shit off no one, baby that was yesterday
Wow.
Holy wow.
Man, was last night weird or what?
Actually all of yesterday was weird.
So…
I thought like anything between Matt and I was over, even any possibility of us being band mates or something. Which, btw didn’t make me too upset, I was just kinda mad I couldn’t fulfill my life dream of being in a band.
But ANYWAY,
I’m just sitting in chorus minding my own business (after of course the compulsory “Hey Amanda, how’s it goin’?” “Hey Matt, pretty good.” ), when he’s like “Are you in JMG?”
Am I in JMG?!? (Jobs for Maine Grads. AKA The class people take if they don’t plan on going to college.)
Do I LOOK underprivileged to you?
“No.”
“Oh, well are you going to the induction ceremony tonight? I don’t know why you would, but me and Mike are gonna be playing for it. You should come see us.”
“Oh really, what time?”
“It’s at six.”
“Huh. Cool. I’ll see if I can make it.”
During the WHOLE conversation, John, Matt’s chorus buddy is standing (well, sitting if you want to get technical) behind him, like mouthing “Yeah! Yes! Go! Do it!” and doing thumbs up and basically convulsing and otherwise distracting me from what Matt’s saying, which leads me to believe that Matt was talking to him about it for some reason.
After chorus:
“So are you gonna come to the thing tonight?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna try if I can get gas money. What are you guys playing?”
“We dunno, but it’s gonna be sweet.” (Typical.) Then he goes back over to where John is (now) standing and starts talking to him. Wheird.
Anyways, I eventually convinced Jen to go with me so I wouldn’t have to be there all by myself.
So 6:00 rolls around and me and Jen are all situated and we take a look around and realize that this is a parent’s deal. And only a very few parents at that. Plus, come to find out, Matt isn’t even IN JMG. I kept asking myself “What am I DOING here?”
They did the one song and Jen and I sat through what was probably the most poorly rehearsed, BORING ceremony of our lives and it was over within 45 min. We found out there were free whoopee pies, so after we ran right out and got ourselves one. I hadn’t talked to Matt yet, and it sort of looked like I wasn’t going to. The douchebag didn’t even have the manners to come over and say hi, I was going to have to talk to him even though he invited me. But Jen eventually talked me into it and I went over to where Matt and Mike (and Mike’s little girlfriend. What is it with Mikes and pocket-sized skanky girls?) were hanging around (Matt was going at the guitar like crazy.) So I walk over and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Hey guys!
Mk&Mt: Hey!
Mt: Did you get here in time to hear the song?
(I’m thinking, what the hell? I thought he saw us walk in.)
Me: Yeah, I saw the whole thing. You guys are good!
Mt: It would have been better with you in it.
Mk: Yeah you should sing with us.
Me: (knowing nod to Mk) So you guys are doing harmony now huh?
Mt: Yeah a little (laugh from both.) We need to get together and jam.
Me: Yeah, definitely. Well, I got my whoopee pie, so I’m outta here. See you guys later.
Etc. etc. etc.
Yeah, it was weird, but nice and (mostly) un-awkward. It made me glad that I talked to them and therefore made the evening not a total waste.
And there’s a good 99.9999% chance that I’ll never ever be in that band.
Unless…
I tell them about the winter carnival talent show.
Which I might/will do.
Oh man, sucked back into the vacuum cleaner of boy issues. Fun times ahead.
And she has written far more than enough.
xxxxx <3
Holy wow.
Man, was last night weird or what?
Actually all of yesterday was weird.
So…
I thought like anything between Matt and I was over, even any possibility of us being band mates or something. Which, btw didn’t make me too upset, I was just kinda mad I couldn’t fulfill my life dream of being in a band.
But ANYWAY,
I’m just sitting in chorus minding my own business (after of course the compulsory “Hey Amanda, how’s it goin’?” “Hey Matt, pretty good.” ), when he’s like “Are you in JMG?”
Am I in JMG?!? (Jobs for Maine Grads. AKA The class people take if they don’t plan on going to college.)
Do I LOOK underprivileged to you?
“No.”
“Oh, well are you going to the induction ceremony tonight? I don’t know why you would, but me and Mike are gonna be playing for it. You should come see us.”
“Oh really, what time?”
“It’s at six.”
“Huh. Cool. I’ll see if I can make it.”
During the WHOLE conversation, John, Matt’s chorus buddy is standing (well, sitting if you want to get technical) behind him, like mouthing “Yeah! Yes! Go! Do it!” and doing thumbs up and basically convulsing and otherwise distracting me from what Matt’s saying, which leads me to believe that Matt was talking to him about it for some reason.
After chorus:
“So are you gonna come to the thing tonight?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna try if I can get gas money. What are you guys playing?”
“We dunno, but it’s gonna be sweet.” (Typical.) Then he goes back over to where John is (now) standing and starts talking to him. Wheird.
Anyways, I eventually convinced Jen to go with me so I wouldn’t have to be there all by myself.
So 6:00 rolls around and me and Jen are all situated and we take a look around and realize that this is a parent’s deal. And only a very few parents at that. Plus, come to find out, Matt isn’t even IN JMG. I kept asking myself “What am I DOING here?”
They did the one song and Jen and I sat through what was probably the most poorly rehearsed, BORING ceremony of our lives and it was over within 45 min. We found out there were free whoopee pies, so after we ran right out and got ourselves one. I hadn’t talked to Matt yet, and it sort of looked like I wasn’t going to. The douchebag didn’t even have the manners to come over and say hi, I was going to have to talk to him even though he invited me. But Jen eventually talked me into it and I went over to where Matt and Mike (and Mike’s little girlfriend. What is it with Mikes and pocket-sized skanky girls?) were hanging around (Matt was going at the guitar like crazy.) So I walk over and the following conversation ensued:
Me: Hey guys!
Mk&Mt: Hey!
Mt: Did you get here in time to hear the song?
(I’m thinking, what the hell? I thought he saw us walk in.)
Me: Yeah, I saw the whole thing. You guys are good!
Mt: It would have been better with you in it.
Mk: Yeah you should sing with us.
Me: (knowing nod to Mk) So you guys are doing harmony now huh?
Mt: Yeah a little (laugh from both.) We need to get together and jam.
Me: Yeah, definitely. Well, I got my whoopee pie, so I’m outta here. See you guys later.
Etc. etc. etc.
Yeah, it was weird, but nice and (mostly) un-awkward. It made me glad that I talked to them and therefore made the evening not a total waste.
And there’s a good 99.9999% chance that I’ll never ever be in that band.
Unless…
I tell them about the winter carnival talent show.
Which I might/will do.
Oh man, sucked back into the vacuum cleaner of boy issues. Fun times ahead.
And she has written far more than enough.
xxxxx <3
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
If you loved me, you would be here with me
Well hello.
Well, I must say, for the most part, things have been going very smoothly.
Boringly, but smoothly.
I still really need to get a job. I need to just take a day and go around filling out applications all over the place like I did last summer. Again. Even though nobody wanted me then, maybe they will have changed their minds.
Of course Alex gets a job at the first place she applies. I guess I must just be too picky about where I work. Hmmmm…
Guy front’s good…I guess. Nothing amazing, but nothing that leaps out and depressed the hell outta me. I’ve gotta make some fast progress on Ross if I wanna go to snowball with him. Ehhh who knows. But I think Matt has finally gotten the picture, which is good for me. Mike is still going out with midget ho (HAHAHAHA). Pete has entered the picture, but a.) he’s really, really, REALLY quiet and b.) apparently he does drugs. Umm, not cool.
So, yeah!! Sweet!
Now it’s just time to try and snag me one.
But now I must eat.
Sad that boys should occupy so much of my time.
Laterrr!
<33 Amanda
P.S. TOTALLY rocked the vote for the first time everrr today! Democracy in action GO!
Well, I must say, for the most part, things have been going very smoothly.
Boringly, but smoothly.
I still really need to get a job. I need to just take a day and go around filling out applications all over the place like I did last summer. Again. Even though nobody wanted me then, maybe they will have changed their minds.
Of course Alex gets a job at the first place she applies. I guess I must just be too picky about where I work. Hmmmm…
Guy front’s good…I guess. Nothing amazing, but nothing that leaps out and depressed the hell outta me. I’ve gotta make some fast progress on Ross if I wanna go to snowball with him. Ehhh who knows. But I think Matt has finally gotten the picture, which is good for me. Mike is still going out with midget ho (HAHAHAHA). Pete has entered the picture, but a.) he’s really, really, REALLY quiet and b.) apparently he does drugs. Umm, not cool.
So, yeah!! Sweet!
Now it’s just time to try and snag me one.
But now I must eat.
Sad that boys should occupy so much of my time.
Laterrr!
<33 Amanda
P.S. TOTALLY rocked the vote for the first time everrr today! Democracy in action GO!
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