Shit!
Auuugggghhhh the most awkwardest thing happened just now….
Shhhiiiiiittttttt!!!
*hyperventilation* Ok…ok… all better…
Fricken’ A, this always happens to me.
And I don’t want to talk about it.
BITCH!!
Ok… I completely forgot what it was I wanted to write about.
Oh right, I’m going on a date with Ben. We were supposed to be going to see Ratatouille Saturday night, but because the showings after sunset were so late we decided to just go Thursday afternoon. I never really thought I would be going on a date with him, but surprise, surprise. I’m not really sure if I like him or if I confused liking him with just being in total awe and admiration of his intense geekiness. Hard to tell.
Still really don’t want a boyfriend right now. But this seems harmless.
It’s so weird… he always seemed so business-like. I think I must have had the vibes going a little strong. Maybe? I don’t know.
I’m just really, really hoping things don’t end badly.
And three cheers for Ex (otherwise known as Excedrin.) Ex is just such a cooler word for it.
I think since I’m outta cool new things to talk about that…*sigh*… I’m ready to talk about awkward new things instead. Or what happened earlier this post.
K well talked to Ryan on the 4th/5th (yeah it was super late) and I told him about my first kiss, and he explained to me why it wasn’t really my first kiss. I guess that since I didn’t really feel affected by it at all, that all it really was was a lip touch. (Or, as he called it, a brother sister kiss, which is NOT how I like to think about it. At all)
ANYWAYS, he went on to describe (in unnecessary detail I might add) his “first” kissing experience and how intense it was. It was a good story and he got really worked up. We went on to talk about other things obviously, but when I got off the phone I was all bummed out. I guess it was because it took me so long to get this lip touch that it made me wonder if I’d ever have a serious kiss any time soon. He said something about waiting until my wedding day, buuuttt…. Hopefully I’m not that undesirable.
So then I IMed him this afternoon and told him I was bummed out by our conversation and he’s like “You can call me if you wanna talk about it” and I said “K well I’ll call you later.” So I texted him like an hour ago to see if he could talk and he didn’t answer. I thought about it and thought about it and decided to just go ahead and call him. What was the worst that could happen?
I obviously didn’t see THIS coming…
So after about five false starts I finally dialed his whole number without hanging up. It rang and rang and rang and I was praying “Pleeeeease let his answering machine pick up” (I was worried that he’d be asleep and I’d wake him) And then, just as I was about to hang up, he answers and in like one breath he goes “Hey Amanda, sorry I can’t talk I’m getting my car towed, feel good about yourself, I’ll talk to you later.” And I manage to stammer out “Ok bye” somewhere in there. And I’m 110% positive that there were other people there.
I know it doesn’t sound like much but trust me… IT WAS PURE MORTIFICATION.
SHIT! Why do I never listen to that little, nagging voice in my head? It’s there FOR A REALLY GOOD REASON!
K, well, there’s my sad story. I hope someone still loves me.
Oh wait, someone does.
And that someone would be Ben.
HAAAAAAH.
‘Night loves.
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