Monday, July 16, 2007

i'll be right beside you dear

Good grief.

I love how my brain shuts down every time I try to talk to Ryan.

EVERY FREAKING TIME!!!

I go into flaming retard mode the second we start having a conversation. It’s bleeding horrible.

I can’t describe anything, all ability to talk in complete sentences is gone, I have this intense need to agree with everything and avoid conflict at all costs (which is how I operate anyway…). IT’S HORRIBLE!!

I hope I can keep it together when we actually are around each other in person. If strawberry festival is anything to go by, then it doesn’t look good.

BAAHHH!! He troubles me to no end.

I was so excited about talking to him tonight, and then the second he comes on the phone it’s all “Oh, ahhh, ummm….” And other sundry nonsense. I HATE IT!!

Ok I guess it’s time to stop beating myself up… now.

I don’t get it at all. It’s like I can’t be normal around him. It’s physically impossible to even make sense. Even now when I’m not talking to him I’m having a hard time thinking coherently.

It’s either that or the fact that it’s midnight and I’m running on maybe… 6 ½ hours of sleep… yeah I’m gonna blame it on that. Good idea.

In summary:

Went on the date with Ben. It was interesting and ended well (and by ended well I mean we’re just friends… or so I think)

Had a sweet weekend hanging out with matt n Colby and sarah and the gang. Colby’s coming to White Stripes with us next weekend. Yay!

Oh MAN I need sleep so I can be coherent again. I miss being smart.

I guess Ryan’s hair is purple-y blue now. Typical. Freakin’ raver.

*drool*

Goodnight!

<33

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