By this time next week, I'll be back in Tennessee. I can't freaking believe it. Summer feels like it never happened.
And my room is a wreck. It needs cleaning sooooo badly. I was supposed to go over to Jen and Erica's tonight, but ended up watching like three episodes of family guy with Dad, who is asleep on the couch at the moment. I couldn't take the stupid anymore, so I left him with the tv going. Shutting it off wakes him up. I'm home because I'm supposed to be packing but, as usual, am procrastinating. Ugh. I want to talk to someone but there's really nobody to talk to about mah issues.
Good news on the Josh front however.
So it seems that Josh overheard a teacher (or two possibly) talking about how getting married pre college degree was a bad idea, and suddenly, everything that we had all been saying (and when I say "we" I mean... pretty much everyone in his life. Even his dad who was all for it at first) clicked into place. And so he called his mom and told her he decided to wait until after he's gotten his degree to marry Ralph(Lauren). So she called up the teacher and told them how grateful she was that they had said something about it.... in josh's earshot or whatever.
But then came the daunting challenge of announcing the news to Ralph. Ralph who, according to Josh, was cool with just walking away from the relationship at the first signs of it not being the right thing for them to do. So in theory, this news shouldn't have bothered her at all. They are SO in love that a year or two or three*cough*ORNEVER*cough* shouldn't matter. But instead, she blew a gasket and on top of that, fed josh some line about how her parents (who are rolling in it I should add) aren't going to pay for her college tuition.
So in closing, I am praying that Josh stays steadfast in his decision even if it means losing Ralph.
Now I just really wish he would answer my texts.
And that I would stop feeling so creepy liking a younger guy. (hah I just realized that josh and I are the same distance apart in age as Chris and I were. And I always thought it was dumb that he felt creepy dating me. Hah.)
Whatever.
I keep trying to test myself to see if this is for real or not. Coz I feel kind of like this might just be like a summer infatuation thing. But I think it might not be. I dunno. I'm just really glad that he's made this decision. I mean if he and lauren are supposed to be together then... they should be, but not before he's like... looked around at least a little. Couldn't that cause problems later on, marrying so young? Especially with Josh being... the way he is.
Oh wow I miss him. I want to talk to him right now. I'd sign on to AIM but there's people I don't want to talk to on there probably. Ugh. I'll just marinate in my angst instead.
GUESS WHAT?? Chris is going to Mongolia! YES! One less thing to shit myself over. When he comes back everything will be fine. Finefinefinefine. I feel like an ass for being so excited but.... I can't really help it. I've been kind of dreading the whole let's-pretend-nothing-ever-happened-even-though-I-totally-blew-off-that-one-super-awkward-kiss-which-in-fact-was-a-kiss-and-not-as-I-so-lamely-put-it-a-request-for-a-kiss.....*GASP*..... yea. Nobody wants that. Especially not me.
Oh how I want to call josh up and talk. Stupid academy cell phone rules. I guess I'll just give calling him tomorrow a shot. Sarah told me the good times to call him.
Jeez I sound really obsessed. I'm not. It's just kind of really on my mind right now, so I felt like I'd just spill my guts in one fell swoop.
But now I'm feeling like sleep. Goodnight. I probably won't write again untill I'm back to school.
Oh how i want it to be summer forever.
XO
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