Disclaimer:
Ok this entry isn’t going to make any coherent sense whatsoever. You’ve been warned.
Willie’s a nice guy, but I just have this really sick feeling about it. I don’t like him, I never have and there’s a freaking good chance I never will. I guess I should just send him the letter. But why am I feeling like I shouldn’t send it? I guess I’m worried he’ll be upset and spread nasty rumors about me. And why don’t I want to go out with him? He’s annoying and, yes I’m big enough to admit it, I don’t think he’s very hot. And even if he was hot, he’s too annoying to be attractive. He’s good friend material and if I hadn’t called this a date then there probably wouldn’t have been [as much of a] problem. I guess the main reason I’m feeling like I shouldn’t turn him down is because he’ll be upset and I really haven’t had anything excitingish happen yet this summer in the boy dept. BUT I NEVER LIKED HIM TO BEGIN WITH SO I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS WOULD BE EXCITING. Well besides the fact I could say I went on a date. But it doesn’t really count for much if I don’t like the guy. And who’s to say he’d be heartbroken? I doubt I’m the only one out there he could go out with. At least I hope I’m not. And as far as I’m concerned, I’d rather not go out with anyone than go out with someone I don’t like. It’s not fair to them, and what’s more, it’s not fair to me. Even if my head’s bleeding with boredom, I’d rather let it bleed than go against my morals. Or whatever.
Yep, sending the letter’s what I have to do. And I feel ok about it.
Geez I love online journals!
XXX times 1,000
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