Well it certainly has been quite a weekend.
Hung out with Matt again yesterday (and his band.) They are all really good. Matt is actually a really good singer, but like every time someone tried to hold the mike up to him, he’d just stop singing and I was like “awww!” He’s the way I used to be about singing. He’s also insane on the guitar.
It was just me and four guys there. His parents and sisters were around like the whole time and kept popping in, so that kind of made me feel better. About half way through, we all went outside and three of them started smoking. They asked Matt if he wanted a cigarette and he said no, so I was pretty proud of him.
But then I got home and apparently Sarah said something about how Matt can be a bit of a caution, so I got the third degree from Mum. If anything happened that made me uncomfortable, I’d just walk out. But while I was talking to mum, Matt IM’d me on my phone and was like “wanna be my sugar mama?” so then I was kinda freaking out trying to get online on the real computer and by that time, he had his away message on, so I was just kinda like shit.
So I stayed awake a lot of last night wondering if I should tell him that I’m waiting to get married to have sex. I want to go out with him really bad and I’m worried that if I tell him that, he won’t want to. So then I thought, if things get heavy or something I’ll just be like “I’m not ready” or “I’m really worried about getting pregnant” both of which are true statements. Plus, by the way things have been going, I don’t think sex is something I have to worry about right away. He seems a bit on the shy side. But we’ll see. Hopefully he’ll come online when he gets home.
I stayed home today cuz I was feeling really nauseous (which I still kind of am. I’m pretty positive it’s nerves) and I really didn’t get much good sleep last night. PLUS I didn’t study for my math test and I honestly can’t afford to bomb another one of those.
Well, wish me luck…
That’s it.
xxx
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