Ohhh sooo happyy!!! Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel vis a vis my internship!!! FINALLYY!!!! Oh man I was getting a lot anxious. Still not quiiiite sure when things FOR REAL get going, but at least the papers are in the hands of people and emails are sent and blah blah blah blah YAAAYYYYYY oh man.
Goodbye tons of free time. A part of me shall miss you dearly.
And part of me shall rejoice at your leaving.
Sooo, I hate that I'm paranoid to write stuff in here now... I don't know why, but I'm really afraid someone is going to read this who shouldn't be reading this and.... ohh whatever, like I said, whoever finds this probably deserves to read it. .
Massive crush on Ben is a go.
yaaaaaaaaayyyyyy.
aaaahhhh I WISH I KNEW WHAT IS GOING ON IN HIS HEAAADDD.
facepalm.
Also I seem to have a lot of like... circling vultures for lack of a better word. Is very hard to be friends without making people think about the possibility of more. Which is kind of what I'm afraid is going on in the Ben situation. Like maybe I'M a circling vulture.
OH NOOOOOOO!!!!
No good.
Well if that's the case, then I really wish he'd stop agreeing to hang out and being all excited about it and talking me into staying at campmeeting and asking me to help decorate his potential bus-dwelling and talking about SWING DANCING (!!!!!!!!!) with me sometime and being so win in general ............JFRIOERUIFJRAAARRRRRRR.
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL ME?? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYYY???
I wanna sink my claws in... in a non-bitchy sort of way.... in a "please don't go!" kind of way. Wich, I know, sounds super desperate. Which is not at all what I am.
There! I'm not desperate. I just see a good thing and don't want to pass him up without a fight. Normal!
Wish I actually felt normal.
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